[00:10.11]Will Wood-the main character
[00:10.33]
[00:10.33]I'm that first person they talk about in all the books，
[00:19.05]我是所有书里第一个被提起的名字
[00:19.05]I'm that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look，
[00:27.55]我的视角无可争议，看看我的样子
[00:27.55]Control the narrative reliably, baby, it's all about me，
[00:36.75]牢牢掌控叙事权，宝贝，一切都围着我转
[00:36.75]And I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who don't do it by it，
[00:45.36]我写的规则就是用来砸向不守规矩的混蛋
[00:45.36]So now I'm holding myself hostage,
[00:47.40]如今我把自己当人质
[00:47.40]Stockholm lust just looks like justice，
[00:49.64]斯德哥尔摩式欲望伪装成正义
[00:49.64]And enough lefts don't make the right but two wrongs do，
[00:52.82]左转再多次也到不了对的方向，但以牙还牙可以
[00:52.82]Oh man, Sun Tzu would love this!
[00:54.72]哈！孙子兵法看了都得夸这招妙极！
[00:54.72]Beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground，
[00:58.39]鞭打我那匹死掉的高尚马，从道德高地滚落
[00:58.39]‘Cause if you shake your fist at snakes in grass，
[01:01.17]因为如果你对草丛里的蛇挥拳
[01:01.17]It looks like punching down，
[01:03.56]看起来就像在欺负弱者
[01:03.56]So god forbid I'm seen just as an average human being，
[01:08.10]天啊，我怎么能被当成普通人？
[01:08.10]I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene，
[01:14.03]想想看，要是主角第一幕就死了该多无趣！
[01:14.03]I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy，
[01:18.17]我是悲剧与喜剧之间的间隙
[01:18.17]Don't come at me，
[01:19.42]别来惹我
[01:19.42]I'm the main character and you have to like me，
[01:31.37]我就是主角，你们必须喜欢我！
[01:31.37]I loot plot armor from NPC's，
[01:37.20]我从NPC身上扒下剧情护甲
[01:37.20]Well, they are to me，
[01:40.25]反正他们对我而言只是——
[01:40.25]Trite tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats; it's all XP，
[01:48.59]老套的桥段、标签、创伤、小饰品和经验值
[01:48.59]Look in the sky, it's a bird! It's a plane!
[01:52.18]看天上！是鸟？是飞机？
[01:52.18]No, it's superego!
[01:55.03]不，是膨胀的自我！
[01:55.03]The underdog you cheer for，
[01:58.18]你们欢呼的弱势英雄
[01:58.18]Villains are everywhere, that's how I know that I'm the hero!
[02:06.67]反派无处不在？那正好证明我是对的！
[02:06.67]So tie me to the train tracks, laugh and snidely twist your mustache，
[02:11.09]尽管把我绑在铁轨上，狞笑着捻你的八字胡，
[02:11.09]Snidely Whiplash, Boris Badenov, ignoring me's bad enough，
[02:15.21]像《Snidely Whiplash》和《Boris Badenov》里的老派恶棍，但光是忽视我就够可恶了
[02:15.21]Where do you get off?
[02:16.33]你算什么东西？
[02:16.33]Da, das vedanya, darling，
[02:18.81]“Да, до свидания, darling~”（俄语：好吧，再见，亲爱的）
[02:18.81]Daleks in high collars monologue and I outsmart them with a ray-gun and a tweet,
[02:24.87]高领戴立克滔滔不绝地说个没完没了，而我用射线枪和一条推特就轻松反杀
[02:24.87]So god forbid I'm seen just as an average human being，
[02:29.40]天啊，我怎么能被当成普通人？
[02:29.40]I mean imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene，
[02:35.31]想想看，要是反派连个邪恶计划都没有该多无聊！
[02:35.31]I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy，
[02:39.44]我是悲剧与喜剧之间的空隙
[02:39.44]Don't come at me，
[02:40.79]别来惹我
[02:40.79]I'm the main character and you have to like me，
[03:10.31]我就是主角，你们必须喜欢我！
[03:10.31]Judge me by what my cover shows, author becomes beyond reproach，
[03:14.78]用封面评判我，而作者永远无可指摘
[03:14.78]You don't know the prose or if the spine is still intact，
[03:19.12]你连内页都没翻过，又怎知书脊是否完好？
[03:19.12]Oh, like Alice fell to Wonderland, come astroturf my Overton，
[03:23.77]像爱丽丝坠入仙境，来给我的“奥弗顿之窗”铺人工草坪
[03:23.77]And bolden my demand to live by alternative facts，
[03:28.43]再用另类事实支撑我任性的生存逻辑
[03:28.43]Her majesty says "The Royal We demand a standard of loyalty，
[03:34.18]女王陛下说：“朕要求绝对的忠诚，
[03:34.18]An agreement to be reverent, lick the emperor's new boots，
[03:39.99]臣服并膜拜，舔舐皇帝的新靴。”
[03:39.99]The court fool got the guillotine, the witches the stake, you the dopamine，
[03:46.13]弄臣上了断头台，女巫绑上火刑柱，而你只是多巴胺
[03:46.13]And Siemens made the Zyklon B but we all still get the flu，
[03:52.36]西门子造了齐克隆B，但流感面前人人平等
[03:52.36]We all do what we need to to get through，
[03:57.91]大家不过是为了活下去
[03:57.91](It's nothing new)，
[03:59.25]（老把戏了）
[03:59.25]But I ain't done a ****ing thing to you!"，
[04:03.15]可我压根没招惹过你！
[04:03.15]So god forbid I'm seen just as an average human being，
[04:07.52]天啊，我怎么能被当成普通人？
[04:07.52]I mean imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme，
[04:12.63]我是悲剧与喜剧之间的空隙，
[04:12.63]I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy，
[04:16.37]别来惹我
[04:16.37]Don't come at me，I'm the main character and you have to like me，
[04:21.03]我就是主角，你们必须喜欢我！